“There are decades when not much happens, then there are weeks when decades happen.”

~ V. llyich Lenin

There are moments in my life that are so sweet, living on the earth seems like a blessing and a privilege – when I first set eyes on my newborn child; when I’m lying in my lover’s arms early in the morning listening to the rain fall against the window; on that first day when I noticed Spring’s arrival, and the air is filled with promise and anything seems possible. There are times in my life when it all seems to make sense, when things happen the way I planned them, when it is easy to have faith in a world created and designed with so many abundant miracles.

Then, there are the difficult times – times when I’ve lost something I worked hard for, or someone I loved, times when my faith in goodness is tested, time when I just want the worry and fear to go away, and nothing makes sense, and none of it seems worth it, and it’s hard to believe in anything.

I’m old enough to understand that life hurts sometimes. One thing Allen Saunders reminded me, “Life is what happens to us when we are making other plans.” And as long as I live, I will move in and out of crisis and adversity, and my joys will live alongside my apprehensions and uncertainties.

One prominent aspect of being human is that I’ve come to cherish the familiar. I cling to my routines, my daily rituals, my favorite chair, my parking spot, and my side of the bed in an attempt to give myself some sense of certainty and control over what I secretly know is a totally unpredictable universe. And so I’m frightened of unexpected changes – they rob me of the safety I’m accustomed to and plunges me into an emotional free-fall I experience as a loss of certainty.

Change, truthfully, is often an exchange, but no less a personal form of loss – as when I lost my youth, some of my hair, my younger figure, now with the potential loss of my job, my comfortable naiveté, or my dreams, and even the energy to make them come true. And I know the losses will continue when I grow apart from those I was once close, or when my friends or loved ones move or pass away, and I’m alone again with the question, how did this happen, much like today.

Life is among other things a series of unacceptable losses, and never easy transitions. When I’m more grounded than I am right now, I know these difficult, never easy times, are usually when the greatest amount of transformative change and awakening occurs. During the challenging times in which we’re all presently living, I find within them an invitation to pause from the frantic pace of my life style. Doors to my inner world of reflection that are normally blocked or I keep locked open, and I’m forced to feel everything. And it’s in fully feeling whatever is happening to me right now that I re-experience the true value of living.

Sudden changes, and the losses they foster, force me to pay attention to my life, to my relationships, and to my values. I am not shaped by crises, I am revealed by them. The hidden hero, the leader, the comforter, the anxious worrier, the pessimist, whatever is in me rises to the surface and is uncovered during trying times. We all have a role to play. And for me, I can choose to step into opportunities that will emerge from the chaos and confusion, or I can wait and loose my place in line.

Times like these have the potential to draw people together. There’s renewed opportunity to bring out the best in our human nature. Difficult times elicit our compassion, our generosity, and our innate kindness. They help us transcend our differences and celebrate our oneness. Difficult times invite us to experience more love in our lives for others. For me, finding love in the confusion is simple. I need only reach out to others and they will reach back. Say “I need help,” and miraculously help will appear. I have so many more resources in my life than I realize – friends, even strangers, and people who love me. Sometimes it takes difficult times for me to acknowledge how truly loved I am. Difficult times can be rich moments because they are rich with human kindness. I need to become what I seek from others.

In Homer’s Odyssey, there is a passage in which Ulysses meets Calypso, a sea princess and a child of the gods. Calypso, a divine being, is immortal. She will never die. Calypso is fascinated by Ulysses, never having met a mortal before. She envies Ulysses because he will not live forever. His life becomes more full of meaning, his every decision is more significant, precisely because his time is limited, and what he chooses to do with it represents a real choice.

In order to do something I’ve never done, I’ll have to become someone I haven’t been. I am realizing the world just recently pushed reset. A new opportunity, a real choice exists. Humanity needs new leadership. I’m holding my place in line.

“Every new beginning comes from other beginning’s end.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca – c. 4 BC – 65 AD