Tis the season to be jolly, so lift your glass, or bow your heads, the Holiday Season is an intimate time for family and dear friends.
By the time you read this article we’ll all be deep in Holiday preparations. Invitations to join in the gaity will be arriving. For those to whom the season is a rather mixed bag of blessings time of year, I offer you in the spirit of comedy, a contemplation on the stone cold truth of true friendship. Ah comedy, that rare opportunity where the truth is allowed to leak between the laughs.
If you are as tired as I am of all those sissy, seasonal friendship poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality, then you might be entertained by the truth posed as comedy on the subject, “What a true friendship means to me.”
- When you are sad – I will help you plot revenge against whoever made you feel this way, and take your side even if I think you are fully at fault.
- When you are blue – I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you
- When you smile – I will know you finally got lucky.
- When you are scared – I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
- When you are worried – I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
- When you are confused – I will use little words.
- When you are sick – Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.
- When you fall – I will point and laugh at your clumsiness.
- This is my oath – I pledge it to the end. Why you may ask? Because you are my true friend!
Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth. I know you will try and share this to 10 of your friends. But seriously, how depressed are you going to get when you discover you only have four. And please remember … when life hands you lemons, get some tequila and salt, and call me immediately because that’s what true friends are for.